LanaCloseup, a photo by BrassAngel on Flickr.

One week ago tonight we held her in our arms for the last time. We told her she had been the BEST kitty we could have asked for and that we loved her very much.

She had been sick about a month ago, with a swelling around her left eye and the membrane was red. She wasnt eating much, no matter what we tried. $ was tight and we had to wait for a paycheck to come in and by then, once we started giving her pedialyte with an eyedropper, she perked up, the swelling went away and she started eating. By the time we got her to the vet, there was nothing for them to see.

We had a few good weeks with her, and then she relapsed last week. We tried the pedialyte again and she wasn't responding at all. Last Tuesday, we were headed to bed and wanted to try to hydrate her one more time and it just wasn't happening....I will spare you the details, but we packed her up in the car at 1 AM and we went to the emergency vet.

The surgeon who was on duty was 99 % sure it was lympho sarcoma. He said based on it going down and then coming back so strong so quickly, it was agressive. We could get her a steroid shot and that might make the swelling go down for a few days, but it would come back and she would be just as miserable again. We tried to make the best decision for her and end her pain.

I went to the Vet today to pick up her ashes. The receptionist Benjamin said that they weren't back yet. So I went home, and practically the first words out of Jim's mouth were, "The vet called to say they have Allannah's ashes today. I want to go back and be Hulk SMASH-y on Benjamin's head.

Tonight, there is a candle burning on my altar, and tears in my eyes.